We all know I’m watching the Euros. We all know I am supporting England. I might have been influenced to support Scotland if England get out because of that song roaming my For You Page. No Scotland No Party. And we all know I am trying to bridge this gap between girlhood and sports. Which has landed you on this blog post. You can thank me at a later date.
I am an avid reader of The Athletic. I spend a lot of my free time just scrolling through different articles trying to be this sponge of sporting information. I like that I learn so much. I am a huge fan of pretty much every article (except for the ones that hate on my boys in blue). I’d even beg and write a cover letter for once in my life to work at or with The Athletic. However… someone at The Athletic has made an enemy out of me.
Nick Miller wrote a wonderful, well thought out, and detailed post about the Euros away kits ranking them from worst to best. You can read his article here. However, Mr. Miller has it all very very wrong. And I was actually so taken aback by his rankings that I have had to make my own post setting the record straight on what the actual best and worst kits are.
Euro Away Kits: Worst to Best… Let’s Talk About It.
24 teams. 24 kits. 24 qualified opinions from an ex fashion major turned sport girly.
#24 Slovenia
From the bottom of my heart, what the actual hell is this? This made Nick Millers top ten?????? I need not say more about my rankings going forward because this is just so bad. I swear that I had a kit that looked like this in elementary school. What is the patch down the front? I really need and want someone to explain this to me. Someone at Nike also needs to reach out to me and formally apologize. Whoever approved this must be fired and they can contact me next year about their kits. NEXT.
#23 Portugal
Not in this lifetime or the next Portugal. WHAT is this pattern? This genuinely looks like a table cloth or maybe a really bad rug. This is what we rolled out for CR7… k. Let’s just say the only thing saving Portugal from my wrath is the fact that Ronaldo will be wearing this and I will just have to pretend I am okay with that. Do better.
#22 Belgium
We are about to enter a territory of rankings that all revolve around these fucking collars. I am horrified every single time that I see one. We are playing a FOOTBALL MATCH, not pretending to pull out of our nicest shirts for the dirty dive bar appearance we are making in our hometown during the Christmas holiday break. Putting one of my sworn enemies, Trossard, in this? Acceptable. Putting one of the sexiest men to ever grace this planet, Kevin De Bruyne, in this? Should be a crime that is punishable by law. So bad. I’m ill.
#21 Denmark
Oh Denmark. Ohhhhhh Denmark. I remember your old kit. It brought me joy and happiness. The white sleeves? Chefs kiss. Then… you did this to me. You brought out this collared shit and now I have to stare it at contemplating why you did this to me for quite a long Euros. The collars are just so unserious to me. I get it, it’s this like “classic” , “retro”, “old school” nonsense that we are trying to bring into modern football. I hate it. And I am going to keep hating it. However, plus one point for the all white. I love a monochromatic kit. Denmark we used to get one another, but this is betrayal. Do better please.
#20 Albania
Albania you had me fooled. I loved every single thing about this. THEN I noticed the collars. Fool me one time…. However, without the collar this kit actually does kill it compared to the first few that I have mentioned. But it’s also just okay. Not a whole lot to it and the numbers do not sit well with me. Maybe I don’t get the artistic vision —to be completely fair I do not want to get it. Chop that collar right off and maybe I would have rethought your ranking Albania… maybe.
#19 Netherlands
I know that someone somewhere is having a sick laugh at me right now. My own country did this to me. WHAT is this? Like they have to know this is not it. They had to have known I would be ill. And yet… they did it anyway. Once again giving rug vibes. But this time it is the carpeting they put down in all high schools across the country. Where is the razzle dazzle? Where is the sparkle? Big Virg is wearing this? That’s a JOKE. And once again, hire me for next year. I BEG. Moving along to the others but just know I am seething at this kit.
#18 Italy
Italy did you think that you were getting away with this? Did you really? No’s across the board. This doesn’t scream Italy to me! And! It! Just! Looks! Bad! The idea of the different colors as stripes on the shirt? Cute. The execution? Will haunt me for years to come. And the stripes down the shorts? Lord help us all. They even go towards the back so it is this weird looking thigh strap thing. Italy you literally are so much better than this. Get your act together.
#17 Georgia
At this point I hope you can guess my qualm with this. Why are we wearing what looks to be leather on the front of our Euros kit? Georgia WHY? Also, sue me but doing the inverse of your home kit is so boring and bland. Bring a little spice to the away kit. Make it fun, make it quirky, make it cool! This is so far down on the list only because it is so boring, it is so high up on the list because despite the leather at least Georgia had the decency not to add a collar to this. Also with the weird design with the squares? This could easily be mesh and qualify as something that some dude would wear to a rave. Boring, thank you for nothing Georgia.
#16 Poland
If someone on the Poland squad can let me know if this shirt actually sparkles the way that it looks like it does that will DRASTICALLY change this rating. However, we all know that it does not so alas Poland lands here at spot sixteen. Also, quick note, why do they have the same man modeling all of these shirts? He is getting my wrath for no reason at all. Sorry mystery man. I do not know why I like this but I just don’t. The badge on the front and center as large as possible is a design error I will not stand for.
#15 Serbia
New model man just dropped in the chat. Serbia I have to hand it to you, I like this. I like others more but this is the first kit that I am not actually cursing someone out over. Simple, gorg, well done, and the attention to detail is immaculate. About one hundred times better than the home kit might I add. We are entering the territory of the kits I actually don’t hate and Serbia has started us off strong. This is what football kits should be about, attention to detail for the girlies like me to dissect.
#14 Slovakia
The Nike logo in this mans fade is actually iconic. Besides the point, Slovakia is getting heat for this because it’s “boring”. Not from me though! I would like to thank them for no collar and for not disappointing me. The badges on these are a little off… But we have seen worse. (Refer to everything before this). I like this because it is so so opposite to what they did for their home kits. And they actually did the opposite of what I feel like most teams do, and they went simple for the aways! Hats off! Obsessed!
#13 Czech Republic
If we look at this compared to Serbia and Slovakia, really the only differences in these is how much I like the overall look of them. They really are all the same kit with mostly the same color schemes and designs. However, Czech Republic ate the other two up with this. This is just so good. I love the contrast on the neckline and how the blue stripes go across and then down the sides of the back as well. This is so clean. Puma kept it cute, clean, and simple with these.
#12 Ukraine
In Millers post, he did mention the fact that Ukraine has worn the same kit since 2021 due to strained relationships with their manufacturer Joma. Despite the Spanish company being shady on Ukraines side, this kit is stellar given the fact that it has not changed compared to the other teams who are using these large budgets with the most popular manufacturers. The attention to detail on this kit is great. However, I cannot wait to see what Adidas does with this kit in the future and if they let me down I will be heartbroken. A lot to work with considering the yellow and blue! That is all I will say… moving along!
#11 Switzerland
Oh Switzerland… almost to the top ten. Almost. This could easily be confused with the Serbia kit, considering they are both made by Puma this checks out. My main thing yeah? The socks. I love a little funky sock! Like these are so fun to me and make this kit stand out from the Serbian kit because they broke up the monochromatic look by adding the stripes on the socks. I also want to know who came up with this striped business on the back of the shirts and shorts because I don’t mind it but I also do not really get it. Switzerland you could have broken the top ten if you had dazzled me, but you did not.
#10 Romania
Romania is the breaker of the top ten! And I am actually obsessed with these. I am a hater of just changing your home kit, however where Romania takes the cake with these is with the sleeves. The stripes on the sleeves with the Romanian colors is actually iconic. If you are going to do a simple kit, this is exactly how you do it. The stripes elevate this kit. This would not have broken the top ten without them but I also do not mind the red. This works so well because of the primary colors so they have that going for them. But the sleeves…. the sleeves! I want more teams to be taking inspiration from this because it is so good.
#9 Hungary
This is the Italy kit but done properly. Sue me! They also get points because Szoboszlai is wearing it. I am just a girl. I like that this is not as harsh as the Italy kits as well. These are also so much better than their home kits. There are only so many ways to make all of these colors work together, and going monochromatic with pops of color was exactly the right move. Literally no notes for Hungary.
#8 Germany
FINALLY SOME COLOR. Do you know how much I love this? Does pink and purple work well most of the time? Not really. Does this actually scream away kit in the most gorgeous way? Absolutely. Oh Germany, you have outdone yourself. I love a bright colored kit and this takes the cake for me. I also oddly love the ombre effect on this because it makes it so much more interesting than most of these kits. It also is done so tastefully! That is the big difference here, taste!
#7 Croatia
Croatia… you shocked me and probably shocked the reader. Because this eats. This is so cool and such an interesting way to include a patterned look into your kit without making it weird. The checkerboard is just so good and unlike anything that any of the other teams are doing. And you
are doing it right! It is one thing to want to stand out but there has to be away about it that isn’t unserious. It is not too much but just enough. Good on ya, Croatia.
#6 Scotland
NO SCOTLAND NO PARTY! STEVE CLARKS TARTAN ARMY! (Have been singing this on repeat walking around the house xoxo). More color! These are so fun and a nice way to do something simple but still have so much fun with it. Teal and purple??? TEAL AND PURPLE!!! I am so biased towards a colorful kit. Get my little highlighters out on the field right now. I think that everyone should have more fun with their kits like this, like it’s so silly and cute. Love love love. Once again, no Scotland no party.
We are about to enter top five territory. Prepare yourselves please.
#5 Turkey
Are ya’ll going to block me when I say Turkey is in the top five? Be honest. I’m sorry this is just too good for it go anywhere else. Maybe it is just this picture, maybe it is just this man. But this is stunning. Monochromatic is going to do it for me every. single. time. All red? Ok! Forza Ferrari! This is just simple, elegant, and well done to me and I am providing no more notes. Either get behind me or get out of the way!
#4 Austria
If Switzerland and Serbia have a cool older sister who makes everything look ten times better than they ever could just because of aura… that sister is Austria. Austria hit the mark with this kit and championed this style with ease. The black is sleek and, dare I say, professional! But the pop of that teal blue without it being too overpowering? Chefs kiss. This is exactly how you do this style of kit, they were not fooling around when they made these! Some might say this is boring but I know the vision and the vibe of this like I created it myself.
#3 Spain
Spain, you will always be famous to me. This is the definition of my little highlighters and I am LOVING it. This gets extra points for including a pattern on the sides in a way that is tasteful. Done so so well. Could not have asked for more. It is giving summer. It is giving we are outside. It’s giving seven pm Friday. It’s giving ninety-five degrees (thirty-five celsius for my European lovers). This is a summer Euro’s kit. It is everything it should be and more.
#2 France
Good God France. Give the other teams a CHANCE. This is so classy. We do not see stripes like this at all pretty much ever. It feels really old school and more of a “classic” or “retro” vibe to it and I could not be more obsessed if I am being honest. The stripes fading from one color to the other is actually an insane design concept that was executed BEAUTIFULLY. They actually killed this and whoever designed these needs to talk to some of the other designers to get them right in the head. Literally no notes France, gorg gorg gorg.
No one is going to be shocked by this at all. But… drum roll please!
#1 England
I am so biased. I am not even going to deny it or try to hide it actually! These are SO sexy. It’s like if we’re going to dress some of the handsomest footballers of all time, this is how we need to do it. Look at Jude! Look at him! This is the epitome of an away kit for me and the best looking kits all around. Anyone and everyone will look good in these. I stared at a picture of Trent in this for a good ten minutes. The colorful stripes going down the sides of the shirt? Slayed. The muted tones? Slayed. My little angel boys are going to look stunning this summer and even if it doesn’t come home at least we looked this good doing it.
Well… that was a lot. But that is the proper and correct order of these kits. And I will be taking no notes on this blog post. This is journalism.
It is a Euros summer! xoxo
Mwah!
Hanᡣ𐭩